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Some Tragic Squishy History - Remember and forgive.

Hay thanks for wanting to know about how this site was founded and the group of mates that keep this website running. I would like to personally thank everyone who has been contributing to the content over the years and helping us keep the site up and running for everyone to enjoy. It has been a powerful journey and hope that we can keep this up for the future in the hope that we can connect 1000's of more people together who enjoy feet and sneakers.

The life behind the name...

Every good website has some history to it. SquishySquishy.co.nz isn't much different to them. It only takes a simple idea to change your life, and that idea can connect you to 1000's of people, who are like you and are interested in the same things as you. Your life will change immensely even if you don't know or feel the change.

1995 - Josh Kendle.

The core foundations for SquishySquishy where laid all the way back in 1995, when I met a guy named Josh Kendal. He was a very open minded and gay. For him being at high school was not the best experience, as he would get bullied just about every day, and sometimes they would beat him to the point that he never came to school for a few days. I used to get picked on just as much. If you where in one of the schools rugby teams it seemed to give you the right of way to bully others with out anyone stopping you. I didn't fit in with any crowd back then, apart from the list of people that used to end up in the medical room.

Yeah that's right. I was one of the "Dorks" that was forced to do the Jocks home work, and all their dirty work. I didn't like sports very much for that reason and enjoyed my own company very much.

Josh and I had a few things in common that's one of the reasons we started to hang out. The both of us never really had friends. They would have come in handy sometimes because it's nice to have someone to stick up for you when you're in trouble. We started to spend heaps of time together, probably bonding our relationship together more and more. I really did enjoy his company. We where basically into all the same things which made it easy to bond. For a while he was my homework buddy, not that homework would be getting done. We would play in the park and just have a good time with each other.

At school we got bullied less, due to the fact that Jocks don't really want to pick on others could possibly end up out numbering them. They still tried now and then, but only when in packs. School camp time came around and Josh and I bunked together in a small tent. It was early morning when we where just laying in the tent, snuggled up in our sleeping bags. We where talking about random things, when he happened to ask me if I knew he was … well gay. I thought gay was happy, but obviously I have been hanging around my grandfather too much. I listened as he told me how much he enjoyed my company and how he thought that I was "rather good looking".

I don't know what the feeling that came over me, but I think it was, well when you know for sure that you trust someone so much. I liked him back just as much as he liked me. Not knowing what "love" was I went along with him. Ever since I had met Josh, I had wanted to play with his feet because for some reason feet and sneakers seemed to give me a boner. I understand it today, but back then it was more of a novelty.

I gathered the balls up to ask him and surprisingly enough he said I could go for it. Josh had really nice feet, I had always seen them at school on field days, and wanted to suck on his toes. I thought that it would be uncomfortable, but with him, every thing just seemed so relaxed. He unzipped the end of his sleeping bag and dangled his feet out. I will never forget the expression on his face as I licked between all his toes. He was totally enjoying it as much as I was.

Josh confessed about how he always had been turned on by crushing things down under his sneakers. His Reebok pumps had always looked really cool, so they took their place in my sleeping bag for the rest of the morning. When it was light, I couldn't look at him the same way. I was definitely in love, but with a boy … how was I going to deal with this.

For the next few years we got closer and closer. We explored each other in private when now one else was around. I got to know his feet very well, and it soon became "our thing" we would do just about every time we would hang out.

When Josh was 18, he started a website called "Josh the Jock". It was a website with a couple of pictures of his feet and sneakers taken with a webcam. The quality of the pictures where not very good, but it seemed to generate enough traffic to get him excited about doing it. His black Reebok Pumps became a popular icon on the site along with his socks and cute bare feet that I had sucked on more than once.

Everything in his life was going well until his parents found out that he was gay and booted him out of his room at home. I was all ready living away from home so I let him move in with me. Together we made a site called "User155x" this came out of the fact that we couldn't find a username for this host that wasn't taken. It wasn't a well known site, but we loved making little low quality videos and pictures for people together. There where heaps of downloads on the site, even know it was a little basic in form. It was a good way to learn how to run a website. Summer of 1998 (In New Zealand), we got a 1mb/s ADSL connection. We both worked full time and started "Crush Me".

If you ever went along to Crush Me you will have seen the content was much like it is now on SquishySquishy how ever of a lower quality. Crush Me generated quite a lot of traffic and bought together some other New Zealanders who also enjoyed the fetish. It was at that point that he resided to make sure that the service was free to people who wanted to come along and enjoy the content. We both got to know so many people from around the world who would frequently send us email to talk about their own experiences.

He loved telling other guys around the world how he has a friend that likes to get dominated by him. I think that was a big selling point of the site. If you thought everything was fine and dandy and we would both live happy ever after, well, you where totally wrong. The events turn a little sour now.

1998 - The Car Accident.

Josh had always wanted to be an air traffic controller, and I thought that was cool; he knows what he wants out of life! He said he would be away for about 4 months to get his ATC license, so headed off just after his 18th birthday down south. Before he left, he asked me to keep Crush Me up and updated if I had time while he was getting his License. I thought it was more of an honour so I said that I would.

Tragically he was killed on the open road, when a group of youths coming the other way smashed into him. They where found to be all over the blood alcohol level, and the driver wasn't alive to be charged, however the passengers where charged with leaving the scene of the accident.

I was devastated and didn't know what to do. When you take everything out of your life that you lived for what else was there to do. I became very depressed and tried on many occasions to end my life too as the pain was too great. Time heals things in a way that he is now only a memory in my head. I have only a few pictures of him, and when I look at them tears just over come me. I have moved on a how ever, because I know he would want that of me. " He's looking out for me in more ways than one" my Grandfather would say.

Since his death I took up his name (on the net) as Josh Sneaker. I moved into my own place and got my own ADSL connection and continued building up Crush Me. A few years down the track the site was going strong so I decided to make a move to my International Sneaker Friend's server (as its expensive to have DSL in New Zealand on a single income). He helped me out with hosting as log as he could, but Crush Me was getting a little too busy for his home hosted server.

In 2001 I moved to some professional web hosting, still keeping the name Crush Me. This change sent lots of negative comments my way, because I had to start charging for some of the services to pay for the hosting. This is the 5th year that Crush Me is on the web, and I sill hold his name in Josh's memory.

2001 - A New Friend.

It took me a while, but I found another mate. He helped me out with a lot of the new content on the website while I was still developing the NEW squishysquishy.co.nz website. He would never really say it to me, but I think in a way he liked stomping on me and doing the trampling pictures with me. It bought us a little closer than most mates would get. He help me stomp on the foods with his sneakers on and this progressed onto trampling me with his own skater sneakers and some of my growing collection. He would always call it squishy-squishy and the name seemed to sick and with his help I built up the site to what you are looking at. We would get together at least once a month to produce some videos and photos to be displayed on the website. I owe him a great debt of gratitude for all of his help but I'll probably never be able to tell him face to face what an assume mate he was to me. Sadly because of jealousy, lies and compounded mistakes on my behalf the friendship fell apart.

How ever much I tried to take the things I did back the only thing that could possibly heal this rift would be time and even then the sad fact is he'd have moved on by then and made other mates. Let this be another lesson in life to learn from.

Now that I have the equipment and knowledge to run a productive website I have been using it to work out some way of recovering the costs of the excessively large hosting bulls I started to get.

What is Next ...

Looking into the future I can see that parts of the site I will have to charge for as continuing to run a site that doesn't pay for its self is just not a viable solution. At this point I would like to say thank you to everyone who has presently been helping me out with cash flow on the site. Your donations have helped keep this site free for so many members.

I know Josh would be looking down on me from sneaker heaven (unless they have the internet then I know he's surfing). I hope that he likes what I have done with it. Maybe when the time is right I will get a better camera and get some quality images to you like some of the other well known sites.